CUPID AND STUPID AREN'T SYNONYMOUS

Sharing with you a short piece of my imaginary mind. I wrote this on February 09. 2013.

I’m a cupid, a tall, blonde one with white as snow feathered wings. I really don’t know my exact age but I guess I ‘am in between of 16-22 years old. I don’t know if I’ am either a male or female. But I can determine it in the cases of humans. The only thing I knew is that I exist with a one solely purpose—to make humans fall in love. There is so many of us here on Earth but I never encounter one when we’re in a mission, I think because each of us have assigned set of pairs leaving us not to complicate things. You must probably imagine I look like an angel in white gown with a bow and arrow, but no, well except for the bow and arrow part. We dress like humans and look like one just with wings and a bow and arrow.

 So how do we do it?

 It’s not that we force someone to love someone we want for him/her, but more like we just magnified the emotion hidden behind that is already there. Like the other night, a boy who is utterly in love with his girl best friend yet too shy to admit it to her and his best friend is just waiting for him to speak up and I know if I never intervene it will just take years for them to realize or they could regret it forever. So I did what should be done, I took a clean shot of his heart to kiss the girl he love. But there are other cases also, well, cases like homos as humans say, I don’t know what it really mean but just like the guy I had shot weeks ago who is in love with the boyfriend of his sister. Yes, that was a complicated case but I don’t think the boyfriend really loves his sister though, I can see it by the way he kept looking to his girlfriend’s brother so I helped them, it was so dramatic at first when they kissed, the girlfriend was so shocked that she even held her breath for a few seconds and with a mouth of a perfect circle shape. If I’ am a human I should probably laugh out loud but I can’t because I don’t see it funny because I don’t know what is funny or sad because we are not capable of emotions. There are other times I walk into the subway and saw two young girls walking and it hit me, I shot my arrow to the one girl and she kissed her tenderly and so was the other one. People around were surprised and disgusted I can see it in their faces and it was terrible, why can’t they be happy for them? I wondered. When we are not working or there are no scheduled lovers to work for I fly to highest building within the place I’ am assigned and just sit there watching the view, the sky, clouds, birds the cars that look like ants and just feeling the wind in my long blonde hair and shutting my eyes for a couple of minutes. I don’t know why I do that but I feel light when I do that, I don’t know if other cupids find that pleasing during their spare time too but I really do. Sometimes when I’m up there I wonder what it feels like when my arrow shot them.  What really is that feeling called love that could turn people from their calmness to that point of absurd madness? How long could that madness last? Can I ever experience that someday? Just my thoughts when I saw two old couple holding hands and walking in the park with unexplainable happiness. I remembered what one of the cupids told us that there is a legend, a legend where one of the cupids become crazy and jump off the building to be human, to find and experience love but that cupid died before finding love, it was a car accident, sad and tragic. Other cupids find the legend whether true or not, a complete metaphorical tragic example of unintellectual acuity. But to me I find the legend as an example of bravery and life. That cupid was brave enough to know what is beyond unknown. I know I’m not capable of feeling but there is something in me that dwells in the legend, wishing I could have met that cupid and help finding love, sometimes I wish I’ am that cupid. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t loathe my job, I’m not doing this for what they call “boredom”, I just want to know what feelings is, how hurting is pain is, how great love is.  

I took a huge step above the building and look down thinking of all the people I made to fall in love, thinking about the legend. It’s ironic sometimes that in a few seconds or a minute from now you could be different, you could be human, and you could exist to the world. I closed my eyes and felt the air and took swallowed the biggest decision I could ever made being a cupid--- making myself to know and experience love. I jumped off the highest building and while I’m still in the air I kept thinking that if ever I might not find love and die just like the cupid in the legend, I will not regret it because I did it for myself, not for the people. Then there is darkness…Eyes still shut, I felt a tingling sensation on my whole body and I can’t breathe what this called pain? I heard a vivid sounds of sirens coming near and footsteps around me, shouting crowd and cries. Then there is a voice, the most beautiful voice I ever heard in my existence, “Are you okay, Maam?” I opened my eyes to see those pair of beautiful golden I’ve ever seen and then I felt something strong yet pleasurable thing hit my chest.

xoxo,

Kara